Child Abuse: Prevention Practices and Processing what Happened to Your Child

Child Therapy

Apr 30

Abuse is something most parents read about but never imagine could happen to their child. Unfortunately, statistics tell us a different reality. In cases where abuse has occurred, parents often question how did I not see the signs? Why didn't my child tell me? How is this going to affect them? How do I trust anyone again, to be near my child? What do I do now? When abuse has not occurred, there are prevention practices the family may benefit from.

What the Data tells us about Abuse

In the state of Tennessee, abuse is defined as the physical or sexual imminent danger or sustained wound, injury, disability, physical, or mental condition caused by actions of another person towards a minor, someone under the age of 18 (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2025).
Most abuse that is done towards a minor is done by someone they know or who has access to the minor. Abusers are known to build a relationship with the minor and/or their family to create a false sense of safety and trust prior to abusing the minor. Then they start breaking boundaries with the child and/or parents of the child as a way of desensitizing them. Why is desensitizing something to be aware of? Think of it like restructuring a norm or practice little by little, where it may seem initially harmless, but with time, it increases in severity (U.S Department of Health and Human Services, 2024).
All minors are susceptible to abuse; there are subpopulations that have increased vulnerability. As of 2024 data, populations with increased victimization of abuse are infants, minors with disabilities, youth who are isolated, American Indian, Alaskan Native, and African American youth . In the US as of 2024, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 13 boys are expected to experience child abuse (National Children’s Alliance, n.d).
Child-on-child abuse occurs. In the US as of 2024, child-on-child abuse accounted for 14% of abuse cases processed by child protective services (National Children’s Alliance, n.d).

Prevention Practices: As a mom, I always want to make decisions based on what is best for my child. I think that is something most of us parents can relate to. What has helped with the decision process as a parent is analyzing the benefits while also considering the risks before making a decision. I personally don't believe there's a one-size-fits-all approach, since each family is different. I encourage you to question and explore what prevention practices are right for your family.

Bodily autonomy boundaries: Physical touch is practiced by many families. Early development psychologists and child exploitation field experts are starting to identify the benefits of the minor having bodily autonomy. For some, this can look like having the right to set boundaries of their body, like refusing a kiss, hug, or other close physical touch with another person.
What does unsafe feel like: not everyone, including minors and adults, can verbally identify what scared, unsafe, uncomfortable, or not ok is. Teaching your children about the indicators your body and mind give you that make you feel scared, unsafe, uncomfortable, or not ok would be a good starting point. Teaching communication that’s developmentally appropriate for them will help increase the likelihood that they can tell a trusted person.
Safe/Trusted person: for minors, they may not always be able to identify the characteristics that make this adult safe and trustworthy. In times of crisis, it becomes even more difficult to identify whom they can tell. Having a conversation beforehand where they can identify at least 1-2 people they can talk to if something bad happens to them may be beneficial. As a parent, I understand wanting to think your child will tell you everything and anything. However, that is not always the case, even when having a great relationship. Unfortunately, data shows most abusers are people who are close to the minor and their family. It may be beneficial to explore having different people tell in case the minor's trusted adults don’t protect them.
keeping secrets: in cases where abuse occurred to a child, there are themes of guilt, shame, fear, and pain that occur. Teaching your children that a secret results in their pain, fear, guilt, or shame needs to be communicated with trusted/safe people.
Safety word or phrase: Using a simple code word or phrase that both the parents and children will remember in cases they are unsafe but unable to directly tell the parent they are in danger.
Located at the bottom are resources of behavioral and physiological signs of abuse to be aware of, and how to start the conversation.
Learning the signs: you can ask your child's provider about learning physiological signs to be aware of, indicating sexual or physical abuse and/or harm. Reaching out to community resources

Processing what happened to your child, what can I do?

Some parents have shared not knowing what signs they should have looked for, thinking the signs were typical behavioral issues for the minor's age, and feeling guilty for not seeing the signs. Abuse that occurs to your child is traumatic to your child but also to you, as the parent. At this moment, you want to do everything in your power to be there for your child, understandably so. Getting trauma-informed treatment for your child and yourself is important to treat trauma symptoms. Symptoms are things you are mentally and physiologically feeling.

What we know from data is that connecting you and your child to mental health treatment that is trauma-informed will help reprocess the trauma and reduce trauma symptoms.
Trauma symptoms using evidence-based treatment has been shown to decrease symptoms and improve outcomes. Left untreated, trauma symptoms have the potential to affect your relationships, mood, temperament, increase the likelihood of engaging in risky behavior, and overall affect functioning.
Examples of evidence-based treatments for trauma offered at Sunrise Counseling for adults are EMDR, PE, CPT, CBT. For youth EMDR, TF-CBT, and more.
It may be beneficial to continue using your social, spiritual/religious, and/or cultural supports and practices.
For minors at every stage of development, structure and consistency may offer a sense of safety. With adolescents, the balance of structure, consistency, and appropriate time and task autonomy is also significant. It is also important that you get the help you need to process the trauma that happened to your child.

Transparency Across Organizations: As a parent, being informed about policies, procedures, resources, and education on signs increases awareness. Asking and understanding the following from organizations or programs your child engages in may help bridge that gap.

What is the organization’s/program’s policy and protocol in the case of abuse happening to my child while under your care or program?
Are parents informed when that policy and protocol change?
If there are cameras in the organization or building, who has access to the live and recorded footage?
Are visitors required to sign in before accompanying minors?
Advocating for the self, the parent, to be informed by the medical provider, therapist, or family service worker of signs of child abuse.